Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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