Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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