when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
