I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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