using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
This is the prime rib incident all over again
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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