I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I stole a fireplace last night.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
