oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
