During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
