After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
