he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So vagazzling was a success
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
