too bad you live with your parents still
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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