He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sext me about skeletons
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
