i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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