yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
