I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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