WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize