you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
