"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
