no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
