i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
