i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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