I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
