lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
