I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
