I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
