i just google imaged poop.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize