after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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