There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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