I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
