I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
