Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
50% drunk capacity currently
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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