She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
