You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
