Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
