I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
