You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize