dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
