We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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