I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize