pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
