Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Quick, to the slutcave!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
