btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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