if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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