they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
