I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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