is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
