It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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