We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize