I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
