sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
