can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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