I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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