Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
