I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
