So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
