She announced her abortion via fbk
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
