Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
