can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You left your phone here
Wait...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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