So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
