They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
