im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
