i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
please come you make the beer taste better
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
