I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
